Relationships and Change

What happens to an ongoing relationship when you decide to change? Let’s try to answer this important question today.

As you move forward with your plans for personal growth and change, there is bound to be a consequent change in your closest relationships. You see, your personal changes may be threatening to a partner who is uncomfortable or insecure with change. You may find yourself facing spoken or unspoken messages that say, in essence, “Change back! You can’t grow because I don’t want you to!”

If this happens, it is up to you to decide what is best to do. You may choose to return to your old self and not change. Or you may decide that you cannot afford to not change, and choose to forge ahead with your plans.

If you reach an impasse and the situation gets too rough, you may choose to leave the relationship or you may choose to take the risk of change and work toward helping your partner change. Of course, it won’t be helpful to push your partner into change. It needs to be seen as something desirable, so painting a visual and verbal picture of the benefits both of you would receive is probably the way to go.

It may seem like you are steering a barge, rather than a sailboat. However, be patient and persistent, and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Demonstrate self-respect and respect for your significant other as well. If real caring and intimacy exist in your relationship, almost any change can be worked out. Pretty soon the waters will calm, and eventually it will be another reaffirmation of your love and commitment to each other.